


Looking forward

by mad2thebone



Series: Looking for Redemption [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:37:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2761583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mad2thebone/pseuds/mad2thebone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One lifetime isn't enough. First Laura has to convince Carmilla, then the fun can start.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Have you thought about it?”

“I’m not the one who needs to think about it.”

“Carm, it’s been almost two years and I’m as sure as in the moment I first told you. I don’t have any doubts, because I love you and I want to spend more than one lifetime with you.”

They were in their dorm room, Carmilla lingered on her bed and Laura sat in front of her computer. She had turned her chair around when their discussion began.

“And as sweet as that is, you have no idea what eternity means. You are 21. You have no idea how it is, to see people grow old and die while you’re stuck in this goddamn world.” She sat up, putting her feet to the ground and looked at her girlfriend.

They’ve had this argument multiple times over the last almost two years.

“I can’t imagine how it must have been for you, especially with your horrible mother and everything she did to you, but we’ll be together. I won’t be alone and neither will you. Don’t you want a companion?” Laura rolled the chair towards the bed and faced the vampire.

“I’d love to have a companion, especially if that’s you, you know that. But what if you don’t like it? What if you hate me for turning you?” Her gaze dropped to the floor.

“I won’t, it’s my own choice. You just assist me.” Laura said lightly. “How about Sunday for our anniversary.”

“Oh yeah, that’ll be fun. ‘What present do you have for your two year anniversary?’ – ‘Oh, it’ll just kill my girlfriend.’ – ‘That good?’ – ‘Yes, literally.’” The vampire’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

Laura laughed and she put her hands on Carmilla’s knees. “Come on, I trust you.”

“But what if I don’t? I told you, I’ve never done this before. What if something goes wrong?” She had seen it multiple times, but try it on the person she loved wasn’t really appealing to her.

“It won’t. After everything you’ve told me, it isn’t actually risky. You are in control of your bloodthirst, I can tell that from personal experience as you know. And if you want to wait for years or even centuries, you have to date someone forever, who looks old enough to be your mother.” Laura chuckled.

“You are only three years older, than I was, when I was murdered.” Carmilla raised her eyebrows, but she couldn’t quite keep her expression serious.

“Oh, come on, it’ll be romantic,” Laura begged.

“I can assure you, that’s one thing it’s definitely not going to be. All those bad vampire movies of yours gave you a really wrong idea.” Something she never brought up before crossed her mind. “What about your dad? He doesn’t exactly like me, and he thinks I’m human. What do you think happens, if you tell him, that I’m a supernatural creature, and that I’ve killed his little girl?”

“He does like you. He’s just… complicated. We’ll just tell him carefully. We figure something out.” Laura was still determined. “And stop saying you will kill me. I won’t be dead.”

“Yes you will, cupcake, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you. You. Will. Be. Dead.”

“I know what happens, but I will still walk, and talk and I will still be able to do this.” She took Carmilla’s face in both hands and softly touched her mouth with her lips. She gently sucked on her upper lip and then started to run her right hand slowly down the vampire’s neck and along her spine. When Laura slid over her waist, Carmilla finally participated in the kiss.

With vampire speed she flipped Laura and pinned her to the bed. “As if I could deny you anything, when you look at me like that.” She fake pouted at the girl below her.

“You’ll do it?” Laura asked excited.

Carmilla took a deep breath before she answered. “Yes, Sunday it is, if that’s really what you want.”

“It is,” Laura smiled at her.

“And you know, you can still change your mind until then, I won’t be mad if you do,” Carmilla assured her.

“I know, but I won’t.” Laura answered and then whispered “And now come down here.”

Carmillla held Laura’s hands on both sides next to her head. Their eyes locked she bowed down towards Laura as slowly as she was able to. She started at Laura’s mouth and kissed then along her jawline and down her neck.

“You know what other advantage we’ll have?” Laura asked playful and Carmilla lifted herself to look once more in her girlfirend’s eyes. Expectantly she waited for the answer.

“We’ll both get the pleasure of sex with a vampire.” Laura bit her lip to keep herself from laughing.

“Can’t say I had anything to complain so far,” she responded and let Laura throw her on her back to swap places.


	2. Chapter 2

Carmilla let her legs hang off the table she was sitting on, when LaFontaine entered their lab. They had started to work at the biology department earlier this year after their graduation.

“Again?” They asked as their eyes caught Carmilla spinning a test tube between her fingers. “When do you finally tell me, how you get through my locked door?”

“But that would kill all the fun, wouldn’t it?” Carmilla replied lazily.

“Not at all, there’s so much I could examine. Scientific interest, I’m sure the world would thank me for my groundbreaking findings.”

“It would kill my fun,” the vampire pointed out. “And besides, I kind of enjoy to know that it drives you crazy.”

“Of course you do,” LaFontaine rolled their eyes. “What gets you here, anyways? Not that I wouldn’d love having you here, playing with all my stuff and hiding the things I need for my work.”

Carmilla grinned. The last time she came here, she misplaced half of LaFontaine’s possessions out of sheer boredom while Laura talked to them about something.

“I need a favor,” she said.

“Of course you do,” LaFontaine repeated.

“Remember that time when my lovely girlfriend, you and the other members of you ginger dimwit squad tied me up and kept me as a prisoner in my own room for ten days?”

“You really know how to charm people into helping you!” They blurted out sarcastically.

Carmilla ignored that and continued. “You brought Laura blood. You told whomsoever you needed it for whatsoever.”

“For an experiment about hemophagia, yes.”

“You need to do that again.” Carmilla finished her demand.

LaFontaine looked unimpressed. “Is Laura going to tie you up again, so you can’t get your own supplies?” they asked and started to laugh.

“No.” Carmilla said plainly. “Now can you get me some?”

But LaFontaine wasn’t ready to give in without more information. “Then why don’t you get your food yourself? You do it all the time, don’t you? I’m sure there are enough snacks walking around the campus.”

Carmilla raised her brows and glared at them. “You realize I don’t feed of actual humans, right? I usually put it in glassware.”

“Yeah, that’s why Laura sometimes wears turtlenecks during the summer,” they replied.

“That’s different, it’s an intimate thing.” She sighed. “Ok, if you really must know, normally I steal my blood supplies from the hospital, or directly from the blood donation station every time they have that on campus. But it’s three weeks until the next donation and this time I need more, a lot more. I can’t really walk out of the hospital with a duffel bag of blood, they will notice. And I really don’t want to start draining people somewhere in the basement. Are you happy now?”

“A bit. What exactly is ‘a lot more’ anyways?” LaFontaine was clearly curious about what they just heard.

“20 units at least, the more the better,” Carmilla replied impassively.

Their eyes widened at that number. “Holy shit, what do you…“ and then it hit them with realization. “She finally convinced you.”

“I would call it ‘talked me into it’ but yes, that’s what happened.”

“Used her very own seduction eyes, huh? You’re still as whipped as on the first day.” LaFontaine started to laugh.

“Keep mocking me. I deserve it.” Suddenly Carmilla’s mood had changed. To be reminded of her own weakness made her feel uncomfortable. “God, I’m so stupid. I should have never said yes. What was I thinking?”

“Are you kidding me?” the redhead answered. “You made it almost two years. If Perry had looked at me with those big sad puppy eyes all the time I would have given up resistance a lot earlier.”

“With the exeption, that nothing Perry could ask of you involves ending her life, hoping that she will overcome the transformation to a bloodsucking, undead creature and hoping that she won’t hate it.” Carmilla stared at the ground.

“True. But you should really work on your self-perception.” LaFontaine sat next to Carmilla on the table. “Hey, come on. I’m sure it’ll be ok. It’s Laura’s decision. You obviously haven’t talked her into anything and you gave her a lot of time to change her mind and that’s all you could do. And she won’t hate it. I’m not an insider, but even you are sometimes a decent vampire, so I guess it’s not that bad.” They looked at the vampire to see her reaction, but she just shrugged her shoulders. “Wait… Laura won’t turn grumpy and sarcastic, will she?”

“No, that has nothing to with being a vampire, that’s just my personality.” A little smirk appeared on her face. “Laura will be the same person. It doesn’t change your characteristics, only experiences do. It’s the same as it is for humans. The only difference is, that you have a lot more time.”

“Then stop worrying. If she’s the same, she’ll be fine.” LaFontaine assured her. “Just don’t let her kill anyone. I don’t think that’s something she’d handle well.”

“So the first thing that comes to your mind about a vampire killing a human is the vampire’s feelings? You’re even more of a freak than I thought.” Carmilla chuckled.

“The soon to be baby-vampire is my friend,” they justified themselves.

“But you’re right, that’s why you need to get me the blood. I will be busy keeping both eyes on her for days until she learns to control the thirst. The first days are the worst. Partly because you need to replace the blood you’ve lost.”

Suddenly LaFontaine’s voice was really quiet. “Did you…?” They didn’t finish the question, but Carmilla knew what they were about to ask. What surprised her though, was the hesitation. The redhead had asked all sorts of inappropriate questions over the last two years, but apparently this was a boundary they actually acknowledged.

“The first four people I fed of died, accidentally. Mother thought it would be fun to watch. She didn’t tell me anything or tried to stop me. She told me it would separate me from my human self.” And Carmilla still sometimes wondered how well that had worked out.

“Good that you got rid of her, that’s cruel. But Laura knows about that, right?”

“Sure, I told her months ago, thought it would change her mind, but her answer was ‘I trust you to not let that happen’.” Carmilla shook her head when she thought about it, but she was still utterly grateful, that Laura had accepted these parts of her past with a blink.

“So there’s no pressure at all.” LaFontaine joked. “I’m sorry for mentioning it and making you even more insecure.”

“No problem, I kind of got you involved in the whole thing.” Carmilla replied.

“Hey, could you involve me a bit more? It would be fascinating to watch the transformation, the change of the cell-structure maybe, and the primal instincts. There’s so much I could document.” Their eyes lit at all the expectations.

“Do you have a distinctive death wish?” Carmilla raised her eyebrows, the moment of caution was obviously over. “Then the answer is no! You could come by the next day if you dare, to see if everything’s ok. But don’t even think about taking samples.”

“It was just an idea.” They lifted ther hands apologetically.

“And please don’t tell Perry until then. I don’t really need her around me, driving me crazy about something I don’t even want to do.”

“I won’t say a word,” they assured her. “But just admit it, you want it, too. You’re afraid, but you want her to stay with you. Everyone who has ever seen you being a big softie around her knows that.”

Carmilla didn’t reply to that.

LaFontaine got up. “However, I think I should get to work now and try to invent an experiment, that is doomed to fail and that involves a huge amount of human blood, so I can get you what you need until…” They looked at her inquiring.

“Sunday.” The vampire finished the sentence. “And thank you.”

“Really?”

“Her choice, not mine,” she shrugged.

“At least you won’t have to remember a lot of different dates.” LaFontaine started to laugh.

“Oh yeah, that sets things right,” Carmilla said, but she grinned.

“And stop worrying. Even though this was the first time I actually heard you say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ which is a really nice change for once.”

“Don’t get used to it,” she replied and jumped off the table.

“Of course not.”

“And now I’m going to prepare a romantic evening, because my girlfriend has unaccomplishable expectations based on bad vampire-movies. See you.” And with those words she strolled out of the lab.


	3. Chapter 3

Carmilla checked all of her preparations. Everything seemed to be ready. A quick glance to the wall of the common kitchen in the dorm building told her it was time. She had left Laura in their room three hours ago with nothing but the demand, to be ready at seven, so she had only three minutes left.

She hurried back and knocked on the door just in time.

“Come in,” she heard Laura’s voice from inside. She knocked again.

The seconds passed, before she heard her walk towards the door and say “Whoever this is, I don’t have time for… “ she opened the door and looked surprised at Carmilla. “Since when do you knock on your own door? Not even people who don’t live in here do.”

“Since I’m picking up my lovely girlfriend for a romantic date, as she requested.” She leaned in and kissed her shortly before offering her arm. “Shall we?”

“How very old fashioned of you,” Laura laughed, but she linked her arm with Carmilla’s immediately. “Do I need anything else? And do you tell me where we’re going now?”

“No. I got everything. And not yet.” She led her out of the room.

“Oh, are we going to stargaze on the roof again? Like on our first real date? That was cute.”Laura asked curiously when they made their way up the stairs.

“That might be a part of it, but just wait the two minutes until we’re there.”

“But…” Laura started, but was cut off instantly.

“Just wait.” Carmilla ordered with a smirk.

She opened the normally locked door to the roof and held it open for Laura to go out first. She waited nervously for a reaction when she followed her onto the roof.

“Wow!” Laura looked around. “It’s so beautiful, where did you get all that stuff?” She turned to her.

In front of them stood a set table with a bottle of champagne on it. Candles were distributed all over the area and next to the table were some blankets on the ground.

“I have my methods,” Carmilla said and put her hands on Laura’s hips. “I might have threatened some theater people.”

“Carm!” Laura exclaimed, but she relaxed as she saw the corners of the vampire’s mouth twitch. “You’re a hopeless romantic. I should have known that you were just mocking me only to come up with something like this.” She pulled Carmilla closer. “I love it,” she whispered against her mouth and then fully leaned into the kiss.

Carmilla felt her hand trail down her back when she withdrew. “As much as I enjoy this, I think I should get the last missing things.” She took Laura by the hand and led her to the table. “Make yourself comfortable,” she said when she pulled back one of the chairs and waited for Laura to sit. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

With vampire speed she ran down to the kitchen, draped the food she had prepared earlier and was shortly after back at the door to the roof, holding two steaming plates.

“You cooked?” Laura looked at her, astonished. “You really outdid yourself.”

“And before you ask, over there on the blankets is a box with cookies, chocolate and of course cupcakes, cupcake.” Carmilla explained and set the plates on the table. Then she poured the champagne into glasses.

“I could have survived one evening without sugar,” Laura chuckled. “But it’s definitely better to have it than not.”

“That’s what I thought,” she replied and raised her glass. “And now enjoy the meal.”

“Why don’t you always cook for us? That’s delicious,” Laura said after a few bites.

“Because you live on cookies and I don’t need to eat.”

“Maybe it would even make me think about changing my diet. Where did you learn to cook like that?”

“I’m glad you like it, creampuff. And I had a lot of time to pick up some tricks.”

 

After dinner they moved to the blankets and looked at the stars. Laura laid in Carmilla’s arm, her head on her shoulder. She reached for the box and took out a cookie. The vampire started to laugh at that and kissed the top of her head before Laura grabbed another cookie and stuck it into Carmilla’s mouth. “You are ridiculous, cupcake,” she said and took a bite.

They laid there, gazing at the stars and occasionally kissing for a while until Laura pulled the blanket above them closer to her chin. “You know, freezing is something I’m definitely not going to miss,” she said.

Carmilla tensed. Suddenly all of her fears were back. “Are you really sure about it?” she asked. “We can still call it off if you want. Spend a nice evening here, return to our room, make it even nicer?” She couldn’t help but sound a little hopeful.

Laura sat up. She looked Carmilla directly in the eyes and took both her hands in hers. “I don’t have any doubts,” she assured her. “And even if I had some in the past, this evening would have dispelled them all. I’m even more certain than before. And I know, you are worried, but…” she hesitated for a second. “Do you have any doubts? And I don’t mean anything that involves me hating to be a vampire. I mean doubts about us or about me staying with you.”

Carmilla had asked herself that question more than once but the answer always remained the same. She had been willing to die for Laura before they were even together and she had only fallen harder since. “No, she answered. “I love you, and I don’t have any doubts about that.”

“Then everything will be fine.” Laura said and gave her a gentle kiss.

This time Carmilla actually believed her. She nodded when Laura looked at her again. “Ten more minutes, and then if you want, we can go back down.”


	4. Chapter 4

They returned to their room half an hour later. Carmilla brought the blankets with her and spread them over Laura’s bed.

“You should change your shirt.” Carmilla said with a look at Laura’s light grey button down.

“Why?” Laura asked confused. “And why are we talking about my clothes?”

“Because you will never get the blood out of this one again.” Carmilla replied. “And you love it.”

“And you’re totally not playing on time.” Laura chuckled. “But I guess that’s a problem with most of my stuff. I’ll see if I find at least something red that’s not in the laundry…”

“If you want you can take one of mine. No stains on black cloth.” She walked over to the cupboard and grabbed something randomly from where she had her t-shirts and threw it towards Laura and sat on her bed.

“So that’s the secret behind why everything you own is black.” Laura said and slipped into the t-shirt.

“No, like I told you before, I just like the color.” Carmilla glanced at her and grinned. “And this really suits you. You should wear my clothes more often.”

Laura looked up and down on herself. “Why would anybody wear something like that? It’s ruined.”

“Yes, on purpose,” she answered and laughed. The t-shirt was an old ‘the Clash’ bandshirt she hadn’t worn in years. It was ripped and on some spots hold together by safety-pins. “We should get you some dark clothes and eyeliner, you will be a creature of the dark, after all.”

“Oh, shut up.” Laura said and sat on Carmilla’s lap. “So this is your new way to deal with this? Joke about it?”

“Possibly.”

“Just remember that I love you, no matter what.”

“That sounds a lot like goodbye to me.” Carmilla pointed out.

“It’s see you later. Literally. I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry.” Laura kissed her forehead and nodded confidently.

Carmilla took a deep breath. “Ok, shall I…?”

“I’m ready when you are.”Laura said and cupped her cheek.

“I love you, Laura.” Carmilla kissed her gently, before she let her mouth trail down her neck until she felt the blood pulsing through the artery under her tongue. For a moment she just caressed the spot before her sharp teeth seeped into Laura’s soft skin. She felt Laura’s hands around her neck, confirming her to continue.

She bit deeper and she started drinking as blood flowed into her mouth. In her body she felt the heat of Laura’s blood radiating, while the tiny body on top of her slowly collapsed against her. The grip of Laura’s hands weakened and she felt one of them glide down her back what made her sure that the small girl was unconscious by now.

She kept drinking the huge amount of blood that still came out of the artery and she nearly choked at the thought of what she was doing. Blood ran down her chin and dripped further from there, but she didn’t care.

With her eyes closed, she listened to Laura’s fainting breaths and to her heartbeat that slowed down continuously until it stopped completely. Finally the stream of blood ended and she lifted her head to look at Laura. Her face had that utterly peaceful expression and as Carmilla gazed at her, she realized that tears were running down her face.

Carefully she leaned Laura’s body back on her arm and held her. With her other hand she opened Laura’s mouth and then used her fangs to rip open her wrist. She let her own blood drip into Laura’s throat and when the wound on her wrist closed shortly after she repeated that procedure a second and a third time. She needed to be sure, she had done anything she could.

After a few moments she grabbed the yellow pillow and leaned against it. Laura’s lifeless body was still in her arms and she wouldn’t let go of it. Not until Laura was back.

Now she had to wait.

 

With every second that passed Carmilla got more nervous. She knew this could take hours, possibly the whole night and it was only close after midnight, but all she could think of was: what if something went wrong?

In complete silence she sat on the bed and listened for the slightest noise, waited for the slightest move that would indicate that Laura wasn’t gone forever.

Carmilla tried to distract herself, by thinking about places she could visit with Laura when she would be awake again, but the fact that her girlfriend’s the dead body laid on her lap made that nearly impossible.

She even thought about calling LaFontaine, but she decided against it. Being sentimental once this week in front of them was enough, and they couldn’t help anyways.

 

At three in the morning she was an emotional wreck. Tears ran down her cheeks every time she looked at Laura. She hadn’t moved for hours and she felt almost like when she carried the Blade of Hastur two years ago. The room seemed cold, she was shaking and she was trapped in her mind.

The difference was that she was conscious this whole time, and she knew the fear was real, and not some supernatural object that played with her anxieties and her traumatizing past.

“Please, come back,” she whispered over and over again.

And finally she did. Carmilla was too distracted to notice her first movements, but when Laura opened her eyes a crack and blinked against the light of the bedside lamp she pulled her close to her chest and buried her face in her hair.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” she mumbled.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey, are you ok? Are you crying?” Laura sounded worried.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that question, cupcake?” Carmilla released her from her clutch and smiled at her.

“You look terrible,” Laura said, scanning her. “How long has it been?”

“About 4 hours.” And it felt a lot longer, she wanted to add, but she omited it. She felt tired.

“And you stayed like this the whole time.” It wasn’t a question and she said it gently, but she looked at Carmilla with slight astonishment.

“Well, yes,” she confirmed quietly. “But how do you know?”

Laura slid her fingers along Carmilla’s jaw. “Because you haven’t even cleaned yourself up.”

Suddenly she remembered the blood that had been all over her. She had totally forgotten about that, there were more important things to think about.

“I should get that off,” she mumbled and tried to get up, but Laura was still sitting on her lap and she took her face in her hands, so she stayed were she was.

“I’m sorry it was that horrible for you,” she said and kissed her. “But that’s actually really cute”

She kissed her again and Carmilla felt herself relaxing for the first time in days. Her thoughts started to drift off until she felt Laura’s lips move away from her own. At first she thought nothing of it, but then she felt her tongue licking below her bottom lip and shortly after teeth scratched her chin.

“Easy, cupcake,” she grinned when she realized what was happening. “We should get you something to drink.”

“Oh,” Laura backed off immediately. “That’s…” She was struggling to find a word that fitted the situation.

“New?” Carmilla asked with a smirk. “That’s the first days. You’ll get used to it. But there are definitely better options than your own dried blood.”

Laura looked embarrassed and got off her and Carmilla walked over to the fridge. “Just a second, we have enough supplies here.”

She took out a blood bag and filled it almost completely in a glass. The last sip she poured into a second one, she had by all means had enough earlier to drink more than that.

She carried the glasses to Laura who sat on her bed, almost paralyzed. With her thumb she was brushing along her teeth, always resting a little longer on her fangs.

“They’re so sharp.” She said transfixed.

“Just like mine,” Carmilla answered, and it was a slight reminder to think of the things she learned about vampires in the last two years.

“I know. But it’s different to have your own.”

“Probably. I never really met a vampire while I was alive, or I didn’t know it then.”

“I didn’t even realized, that they had pop out. It feels so out of control.” Laura’s voice was barely a whisper.

Carmilla hesitated. She knew she had to answer something, take the girl’s fears away, but her own were so very present. She did this, she turned her, and what if she couldn’t handle it?

“You just need a little practice. You’ll see,” she managed to say. Being all weak and angsty wouldn’t make anything better in this situation. She handed Laura her glass. “Here, your senses are pretty numb right now, after a few drinks you’ll be able to notice what your body is doing on instinct and then it’s easier to react on it and later to control it.” She raised her own glass. “Cheers.”

Laura nodded slowly and clinked their glasses. Carmilla nipped on her own blood, but her eyes stayed on her girlfriend. Observant she watched every move she made.

At first Laura took only a sip, but as soon as she had tasted it, she started to down the whole liquid. Her eyes closed and her head leaned back to drink as fast as possible and blood ran down her chin.

“Hey, cupcake, stay with me.” Carmilla said softly and placed her hand on Laura’s knee.

She emptied her glass, opened her eyes again and stared at Carmilla. “Wow, that’s incredible. Can I have more?”

“One more won’t hurt. You must be hungry.” Carmilla reached for the glass, but Laura shook her head.

“I get it, you still look terrible, sit down.”

She sat on her bed and watched Laura refill her glass. “I feel a little hung over,” Carmilla admitted, and Laura looked curious at her, an unspoken question in her expression.

She rested her head in her hands. “I had a little bit more than my usual dinner,” she explained and she heard Laura drink. “To get really drunk on blood once you’re used to it takes a lot, but I think it clouded my mind a little. You on the other hand should be careful right now.”

There was no response and she lifted her head. Laura was nowhere in sight, but she could still hear drinking noises from near the fridge. She rushed around her bed and found Laura sit behind it on the floor. Her glass was empty on the floor and she was sucking on one of the plastic blood bags. Another one was empty on her lap.

“Wow, that was fast. How did you even do that? I only took my eyes off you for seconds.” Carmilla smiled lenient.

“It tastes almost as good as cookies.” Laura’s eyes were fixed to a point somewhere next to her face and she smirked.

“What I was going to say was, that you should take breaks between drinks, so your body can get used to the blood. And I’m pretty sure I told you about blood-drunkenness before,” she chuckled and put out her hands. “Come on, cutie, let’s wait a little bit until the next one.”

Laura grabbed her hands and let her pull her up to her feet. She trembled and fell against Carmilla, who put her arm around her waist and led her to Carmilla’s bed. Laura’s was still covered with the blanket she had thrown on it earlier and it had some clearly visible red stains.

Carmilla helped Laura on the bed and sat beside her. The small girl quickly wrapped her arms around her chest and snuggled against her. “Are you mad?” she asked quietly.

“No, I’m not mad,” Carmilla assured her and brushed a strand of Laura’s hair behind her ear. “It won’t be long, cupcake. Vampire constitution helps with many things. Then we can go back to the controlling of the blood thirst.”

“I want to do the fun stuff. Super speed running.” Laura was clearly excited at the thought of that, but she sounded, if she was about to fall asleep.

“I’m definitely not going to run through the woods with you like that sparkling idiot in your movie.” Carmilla scoffed.

“Come on.” She could practically hear the pout on Laura’s face.

“We’ll think of something. You have to see the good sides soon, so you don’t regret everything and hate me,” Carmilla said sarcastically, but there was still more fear in it, than she ever would have admitted.

“Carm?”

“Hmm?”

“I could never hate you, or being like you,” Laura mumbled.

“Yeah, says the drunk vampire who got turned two seconds ago and hasn’t even been outside the room yet.” She said quietly after noticing that Laura had fallen asleep, her face still smeared with blood. “But I have to admit so far it could have been worse.”


	6. Chapter 6

Carmilla awoke by the sudden sound of wood crashing against stone. She had fallen asleep after watching the room turning lighter during sunrise. That was when she assumed Laura wouldn’t get up any time soon due to her newfound nocturnal nature.

She blinked sleepily when she heard the noise and promptly after it someone started yelling. “”Where is she? What have you done to her?”

A hand slapped her face which woke her immediately. Perry was next to her and now she was shaking Laura, who was still asleep and didn’t move.

“You…” Perry riveted back on Carmilla and slammed her fists against her chest, but then LaFontaine appeared behind her, wrapping their arms around her and tugging her away.

“Let me go,” Perry raged. “Look at her, she’s dead.”

“Not the way you think,” LaFontaine said loudly. “Listen to me. I tried to explain it before you started running.”

“But she’s…”

“Perry, she is fine.” They looked at Carmilla. “She is, right?”

Carmilla nodded but remained silent. She took a glance at Laura who had shifted a little and now crack opened her eyes. She seemed to be concentrated on something, totally absent for the moment. The small girls still laid partly on her waist and from her position all Perry could see was the back of her head.

“But what is wrong with her?” Perry struggled against LaFontaine’s firm grip. “You told me we should check on Laura and she looks dead. She doesn’t move. There’s blood everywhere. You did this! How can you just lay there with her dead body…“

Laura sat up. She seemed to have caught up on the topic. “Hey, Perry.” She waved slightly but her eyes were uneasy.

“How can you…? But you look… All the blood…” Perry stuttered before she managed to pull herself together. “What is going on with you? And you!” She pointed at LaFontaine. “How dare you scare me that much. Will somebody please answer me already.”

They looked really uncomfortable as they released the other redhead from their arms. “I’m sorry. I should have told you earlier, but I didn’t want you to worry and I should have started to explain in a different way, but then I was worried and I really wanted to get here. And look, Laura is all right, so everything went as expected and…”

Laura cut off their rambling. “Perry, I’m a vampire.”

There were a few moments of silence before Perry started to rage against Carmilla again. “How could you do that. I thought you had yourself under control. I thought you were…”

“Stop it!” Laura said loudly and cut her off once more. She got between Perry and Carmilla, who just sat there, stone-faced, and hadn’t said a word yet. ”It’s not how you imagine. I asked her to. I even begged. I had to convince her for two years.”

Perry slumped. She backed off and wanted to sit down on Laura’s bed but noticed the blood stains in the last moment and sank on the computer chair instead.

“Two years?” Perry was shocked. “How could you not tell me? I could have…”

“Told me that I was out of my mind?” Laura suggested.

“Well, maybe,” Perry agreed hesitantly. She turned to LaFontaine. “And how long have you known?”

“A few months ago, but I thought it was obvious. And I didn’t know it was an actual thing until Carmilla visited me last week.”

Laura looked curiously at Carmilla and raised her brows.

“What? I needed blood.” Carmilla shrugged, but Laura only smiled knowingly. “And it’s not LaF’s fault. I told them to keep it to themselves,” she added. It earned her a grateful mouthed “Thank you” from them.

“So you are, in fact, dead now?” Perry’s eyes widened at the thought and Laura nodded. “But you are good? Did it hurt? Are you…? Did you…? What were you thinking? Giving up your life like this. You should have told to me. I would have talked you out of it.”

“Carmilla tried that every other day, you wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“Did you never want to have a normal life? Kids, a house and a yard?” Perry asked desperately.

“I never really thought about it when I was younger, but normal kind of lost its appeal a while ago.” She slid her hand on top of Carmilla’s and smiled. “ And I love kids, I just don’t want my own. Believe me, when I say, I would have made this exact same decision when we got together, but I was forced to think about every little aspect of it more than once, and it didn’t change a single thing. I won’t regret it, because I’ll have great company.”

“Ok, fine. I think I understand. I might have been a little bit over the top.” Perry said apologetically and then addressed Carmilla. “I’m sorry for beating you.”

“Nevermind,” she replied. “But you do realize, that if I was as evil as you thought, I would have killed you in a heartbeat.”

The thought of that clearly made Perry uncomfortable.“I didn’t think you were evil. It’s just that you’re a vampire and I didn’t know what happened and I’m sorry. I really should have known better. But in my defense, you two look like you got into a terrible fight.”

They turned and scanned each other first and then themselves. Carmilla was still covered in Laura’s blood. Her shirt was crusted with the now dried liquid. On Laura’s face the trails of her earlier blood thirst were still visible and the bitemarks on her neck had already started to heal, but there were two clearly noticeable punctures and a lot of blood had run down her chest.

They started to laugh. “Looks like we both need a shower.” Laura pointed out.


	7. Chapter 7

“Definitely,” LaFontaine agreed. “So I think we should leave now. Laura? It’s good to know that you’re still alive… you’re not, but you know what I mean.”

They walked over and hugged her. Carmilla tensed and when Laura’s head sank she immediately jumped on her feet.

“Ouch, teeth, teeth.” LaFontaine shouted slightly panicked as their body clenched and before Carmilla got between them and pushed Laura back towards the bed. She turned around to see the redhead standing in the middle of the room, visibly appalled and their hand pressed against their neck.

With a few steps Perry was next to them. She gently pulled away their hand and looked at the wound before she stared at Laura with both rage and fear. The fear seemed to take over. “Honey, we should go now,” she told LaFontaine demandingly, but they just stood there and watched Laura.

Carmilla still had her hands around Laura’s wrists and waited for any sign of her losing control again. At first her eyes had been almost black and her face showed nothing but hunger, but now the delusion had stopped. Her pupils were back to normal and shock spread on her expression. She moved back to the end of the bed against the wall, as far away to the humans as possible and Carmilla let her. Laura pulled her knees to her chest and hid her teeth behind her hand.

“I’m sorry, LaF, I’m so sorry.” She whispered.

Carmilla sat in front of her and put her hands on Laura’s knees. “Nothing happened. It was just a second. Everybody is fine,” she assured her.

“Fine?” Perry yelled. “She just bit them.” She didn’t dare to come a single step closer than she already was.

“No, it’s my fault.” LaFontaine said. “I shouldn’t have hugged you. I wasn’t thinking. But it’s no problem, really.”

Carmilla flashed them a glance, nodding slightly in Perry’s direction and they understood instantly. “Come on Perry, we should head home. We can come back another time.” They ushered her to the door. “Don’t worry about it, Laura. I can barely feel it. And let me know when we can visit you again.”

“Sure.” Carmilla answered instead of her and the door shut behind them.

 

Carmilla sat next to Laura. She hadn’t taken her eyes off her. “Wanna talk about it, creampuff?” She asked after a few minutes of silence.

“I hurt them.” Laura gazed into space. “I wanted to drink it all, every last drop.”

“Nothing happened,” She repeated. “You heard LaF, they won’t hold it against you.”

“Thanks to you. But if you weren’t… if you didn’t stop me…”

“But I did, and they’re fine.”

“If I had caused serious damage… It feels so real. I could have killed them. It’s a terrible thought.” Laura shivered.

Carmilla took her hand. “I know. But I won’t let that happen.”

Laura faced her. “I’m sorry, that you never had someone like you. Your mother has been a horrible person, letting you get through this alone.”

Carmilla didn’t answer. She could still remember that poor guy’s face, and the horror in his expression as his cold dead body laid by her feet. His only fault was to be the first one to cross her way, the person she afterwards called mother nearby in the shadows of the alley, watching her with a satisfied grin.

“They seemed so… alive.” Laura continued slowly. When I woke up I heard each of their breaths and every single heartbeat.. I think Perry distracted me, but when LaF…” her voice faded.

“It’s not your fault, those are primal instincts. You can hear my heartbeat, too, if you listen, but it’s not the same effect.”

“Biting them, it was overwhelming. It was intoxicating. There was nothing but the sound of the rushing blood and the heartbeat. I couldn’t think of anything else. I can’t be around anyone.” There was despair in her voice.

Carmilla put her arm around Laura and pulled her closer. “I promise, it won’t be long. You’ve seen me around humans all the time. Believe me, when I say it gets better soon.”

“I hope it.” Laura sighed and leaned against her shoulder. “And I hope Perry still talks to me at that time.”

“Perry will come around. She’s not the biggest fan of supernatural occurrences, we’ve known that before. But as soon as she gets used to the thought, it’ll be like it has been.”

Laura snuggled closer. “I’m sorry she took it out on you.”

“I don’t care if she beats me.” She said apathetically.

“I mean what she said. I know it affected you, I saw it. She accused you of killing me and forcing me into stuff.” Carmilla didn’t reply to that, so she continued. “I know you would have never done anything without my permission. And I know you would have never harmed me, so I was never afraid of you. And yes, it’s hard. Much harder than I imagined, but I wouldn’t change a single thing.”

Carmilla smiled. It was such a typical Laura thing, to think of her feelings, even in a situation that was new and confusing and that would have made most people only concerned with their own interests. But she was utterly grateful.


	8. Chapter 8

“What do you think about a little breakfast snack?”

“It’s afternoon.”

“So it’s almost time to get up. We need to teach those friends of yours, that they shouldn’t disturb a vampire’s sleep.” Carmilla pretended a yawning to clarify her point.

Laura rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t act all smug and unaffected, I saw you confederated with LaF only half an hour ago. And that was not a surprise, at all.” She stressed the last two words.

“Whatever you say, cutie.” Carmilla grinned. “So, are you hungry?”

Laura nodded and she got up and poured blood in a glass. “Here.” She handed it over and wondered, how long it’ll take until she actually would feel hungry again. “Try to drink slow, at least at the beginning. Focus on how your body reacts rather than what it feels like.”

The small girls nodded a second time and set the glass on her lips. She began to drink and Carmilla watched each of her moves. Slowly she took a few sips before the struggle in her eyes became visible. Her hand around the glass trembled, but she managed to empty half of the liquid like this before downing the rest. She set the glass on the shelf and a little bit of blood ran down from the corner of her mouth.

“How was that?” Carmilla asked when Laura made no attempt to speak.

“I still can’t stop, it’s weird.” She licked her lips absentmindedly.

“Soon the transformation will be finished, when all your new blood is built. I hope then it stops feeling like a drug, at least that canned blood. Pulsing blood might still be different.”

“You don’t know?”

“I didn’t really have blood units in my days.” Carmilla shrugged.

“Right.” Laura agreed. “This time it felt like…”

“Like what?” Carmilla asked, when she didn’t continue.

Laura shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“Come on, tell me. It’s been a while, but I’ve been in your situation.” She sat next to her.

It took a moment before Laura spoke again. “I hate to admit it, but after biting LaFontaine, this…” she pointed at the empty glass with the red remnants of her drink. “…made me a lot less euphoric than before. But that’s good, right?”

“Biting humans never loses its appeal.” Carmilla smirked. “But these blood units sure do. It’s just like regular food, some is better, some is worse, sometimes you like it and sometimes you just eat to stay on your feet.”

“That’s not how I feel about food.” Laura grinned and added “Especially the sweet kind.”

“Human food has a lot more variations. Blood is blood, and even though it’s now in your DNA to like it, sometimes you get tired of it. The same thing over and over again, every day. That’s when you steal your roommate’s cookies.” Carmilla explained playful and it made the other girl laugh.

“To bad my roommate doesn’t have cookies.” She replied. ”I guess I have to get my own.”

“Lucky you.” Carmilla said. She got up and returned with the box of sweets she had prepared for their dinner. “Because right now your roommate has some.”

Laura immediately grabbed one of the baked goods and ate it at a rapid pace. She took another, still chewing on the first one.

“Feeling better, cupcake?” the older vampire asked and took a cookie for herself.

Laura nodded and kissed her with still cookies in both of their mouths. They parted and both of them chewed and swallowed quickly to lean back in. After a few moments Laura moved and straddled Carmilla’s lap. In between two kisses, she mumbled “I should really have that shower we were talking about earlier.” Her hands trailed down Carmilla’s chest and slightly slipped under the hemline of her shirt. Then she backed off and got on her feet.

Slowly she pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it provocative on the floor. Then she turned around and even slower she pushed down her trousers to her ankles and stepped out of them. “Any thoughts of joining me?” she asked over her shoulder and vanished into the bathroom.

Carmilla followed in a split second. “I can’t risk letting you alone out there with the fridge, so I guess if I want to get off that blood, I simply have no other choice.” She said and laughed, but her voice was low and seductive. She wrapped her arms from behind around Laura and planted a kiss on her shoulder.

“Poor you.” Laura giggled and turned around. She started to remove Carmilla’s clothes and the other vampire was a willing participant. When they were both down to underwear Laura slid her fingers along the blood trails on Carmilla’s chest. An odd fascination emanated from them.

She shook her head. “We really need to get in there.” She said and leaned in to kiss Carmilla again while she also undid her bra.

As the last piece of cloth dropped to the floor, Laura started the hot water and dragged Carmilla with her. For a few minutes the stood both under the water and cleaned each other off the blood, before Laura kissed her again and it fast became more heated. With a short push she slammed Carmilla against the wall and a cracking sound echoed in the bathroom.

Carmilla hissed in pain. “Whoa there, cupcake!” After the first shock she began to laugh. “Control the force, young padawan.”

An embarrassed look appeared on Laura’s face and she touched her carefully. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry if I hurt you. I didn’t mean to push so hard. Are you ok? Where does it hurt? I really didn’t…” She stopped her rambling and stared at Carmilla, who had just smiled at her and chuckled. “Did you just make a Star Wars reference?” she added and attempt to smile joined the worrying and the embarrassment.

“I’m good, creampuff, but you shouldn’t destroy our interior,” she said with a smug smile and pointed at the broken tile behind her.

“Are you really ok? I mean obviously your hip broke the bathroom and it sounded really painful and I so didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine.” Carmilla grabbed her face with both hands and placed a small peck on her lips. “It’s already forgotten, you’ll enjoy the pleasures of vampire constitution soon enough.”

“Really?” Laura asked doubtfully.

“Really, cupcake!” she assured her.

The small girl looked at her for a moment as if she tried to decide weather she should believe her or not.

“Ok, then. How come the badass ‘I-hate-pop-culture’-vampire actually knows Star Wars?” Obviously the decision was made a yes.

“Now that I think about it, I think it hurt more than I first thought,” Carmilla replied sarcastically.

“Carm, come on!” She pulled her back under the waterstream and closer to her.

“This is what you want to talk about, when we’re both naked in the shower?” Carmilla shook her head in disbelief.

“Yes.” Laura said plainly and gave her a short kiss.

“Ok, fine.” Carmilla sighed. “If you attend university for more than 60 years it’s kind of inevitable to see those movies. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Laura beamed. “You totally liked them!” she exclaimed excited. “I can’t believe I didn’t know that. We have to watch so many films you might like, too. I have to show you…”

“Will you please stop this?” Carmilla sighed again and rolled her eyes.

“OK, just confirm that you liked them.”

“I guess the old ones weren’t that bad.” She admitted.

“They’re awesome. But have you seen the newer films, they aren’t that bad either, just different.”

“Oh please, that imbecile that plays Anakin has the mimic abilities of Darth Vader in his mask.” Carmilla couldn’t believe she was actually talking about a subject like that, but the light in Laura’s eyes made it worth it.

“So he’s not the best actor, but the rest of the cast is good and the story. And Yoda is the cutest little guy.”

“The first one is a children’s movie, the second is so exhaustingly sappy, I can’t believe anybody but 13 year old’s could stand it, and the third one has no story, just fighting.”

“But you’ve seen them all!” Laura grinned. “And you realize, that you mocking sappy movies is kind of ironic, right?”

“And why would that be?” Carmilla raised her eyebrows.

“There are so many examples for this, but do I need to remind you of that first time you took me to the roof to watch the stars?”

“Maybe you should,” she teased, even though she remembered that evening like yesterday. “But I’m pretty sure I never bored random people in a cinema.”

“It was this beautiful, romantic night. You were so sweet and I couldn’t really handle it, so I joked and asked, if this was your place to seduce girls and you told me, you never brought anyone up there, because those were moments just for yourself.” Laura stepped behind Carmilla and put her arms around her waist and put her chin on her shoulder. “You stood behind me and whispered ‘I have been in love with no one, and never shall, unless it should be with you.’* And I had no idea what to say.”

“And you didn’t need to,” Carmilla continued the story and took her hands. “Because later you brought up that whole vampire thing again and that was answer enough.”

“To which you said ‘I live in you; and you would die for me, I love you so.’** And you looked at me like you couldn’t believe I was actually there and it made me speechless once more.”

“That’s because I couldn’t believe it. Or that I was that lucky.” She turned around and let her lips melt with Laura’s.

“See what I mean?” Laura joked when they parted.

“And still I don’t bore anyone with it.” She winked. “Exept for you.”

Instead of an answer, Laura kissed her again, deeply.

“Just don’t trash the bathroom this time. Or me.” Carmilla mumbled against her lips and grinned.

“I try to be gentle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> */** are quotes from Joseph Sheridan LeFanu - Carmilla  
> I started that novel on christmas, and it's pretty awesome
> 
> thanks for all the nice and flattering comments!  
> also: sorry for always interrupting them due to my inability to write smut ;)


	9. Chapter 9

It was the third day of Laura’s vampire existence and Carmilla was kind of nervous. They still hadn’t left the room, but the last days went smooth. The transformation had been finished sometime on the day before. Until that, Carmilla had given her some blood every other hour they were awake while keeping an eye on every single drop. Every time Laura drank like she hadn’t eaten in days, so when she declined the offer and said without thinking that she wasn’t hungry, it hit them both by surprise first.

This morning she had even managed to slowly sip her complete glass of blood which was clearly a good thing. But that whole process had immensely expended the stocks LaFontaine had organized and at some point in the next two days they would ran out of food.

Sure, she could ask them again, but it was a favor and it was hard enough one time. Besides, she was perfectly capable of providing her own aliments. But it would be a little more difficult this time.

It was late in the afternoon and Carmilla sat in her bed, carefully watching over the sleeping girls next to her. She would have never imagined, that she could be the first one to be awake every day and she wasn’t sure if it was because Laura needed much sleep after everything her body had to fulfill in the last days or if her subconscious still was determined to keep her eyes on Laura every single second.

For a second she considered that her girlfriend could be an even lazier vampire than she was, but she quickly dismissed the thought. There was no way this morning person could turn into someone who sleeps through the whole day, not even as a vampire. Of course, her sleeping schedule had changed, but as she had explained to LaFontaine, the transformation couldn’t alter one’s character. So maybe it was both, Laura’s need to rest and her own protectiveness, but at least one of them could soon be gone.

She shook her head at her own thoughts, she was really losing her bite.

She should go and get more blood, but she didn’t want to leave Laura on her own and she wasn’t convinced she would come with her, because that would require to get close to humans. The LaFontaine incident had shaken her and it still occupied her mind.

Sooner or later Laura had to leave this room, she couldn’t spent forever in here. She just had to somehow convince her that it was safe for everyone to do so.

An idea appeared in her head. Slowly she reached for her phone, so she wouldn’t wake the sleeping vampire. Laura would say no, she had no doubt about that, at least at first. But she had to try. And she had to tell her, of course. There were two possibilities, either to surprise her shortly before, so she couldn’t think too much or tell her right away and argue until she’d consider it. Both could go wrong.

She typed a message and it was good that Laura was still asleep. The small girls always mocked her how slowly she used everything on her phone, despite having the ability to move really fast. She never actually used the damn thing anyways. She had finally agreed to have one after she and Laura got together, and maybe on rare occasions like this it was useful, but that didn’t mean she had to come to terms with the gadget. Letters were so much more personal.

 

About half an hour later Laura started to shift and blinked up at her. “You really need to stop that creepy watching me sleep thing,” she mumbled and yawned.

“I just take my opportunities while I can,” Carmilla replied with a grin.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Eventually you’ll be the one who’s awake long before me and be the terrible morning person again, while I lay there, grumpy and try to convince you to let me sleep a little longer.”

“You’ve thought about that, huh?” Laura asked and sat up.

“I might.”

“I’m not that horrible. Besides, you should have noticed, that I’m not opposed to stay a little longer in bed if it’s with you.” Laura stretched her arms and laid back and snuggled to Carmilla’s chest.

“It seems that I’m a bad influence after all.”

“Totally evil.” Laura agreed. “So why are you awake that soon?”

“You slept really long,” Carmilla shrugged and Laura didn’t ask further.

 

After a few minutes she decided to test the water. “I asked LaF to come over, they’ll be here in an hour.”

Instantly Laura tensed. “You should have asked me first.”

“I’m telling you now, so you can prepare yourself. No empty stomach this time.” She tried to let it sound casually.

“Revoke it.”

That was quick. Maybe she had underestimated her fear. “Listen, cupcake… “ Carmilla started, but she was interrupted by a whispered “Please.”

“What if I lose control again?” Laura added after a moment of silence.

“I promise, I won’t let you hurt them. I’ll pay attention all the time.”

“You can’t put them in danger. I can’t. They shouldn’t…” She sat up and pulled her legs to her chest in the same way she had done it after she bit LaFontaine.

“I get it, you blame yourself. And you’re afraid.” She said softly.“But seriously you can’t spend weeks or months in here, at some point you need to confront your fear. And I’m not telling you to go out to a party, it’ll be one person and here. The last time might have been a little early and sudden, but just waiting will gain you nothing. LaF knows the possible dangers and still they’ll come. They won’t think anything bad of you and I’m here to make sure it’s ok.”

“Perry will hate me even more if anything like that happens again and LaF might be ok with it now, but what if I scare them away, too?”

Carmilla couldn’t help but laugh about that. “Have you met LaFontaine? Are we talking about the same person?” she raised an eyebrow. "When I told them last week, they wanted to watch the transition, you know, ‘for scientific interest. There’s so much I could document.’" She imitated the redhead and their excited face.

“That was before they had any hint how that turned out. They probably thought I would be calm and controlled, just like you.” Laura didn’t look at her. Maybe that had also been her wishful thinking. Despite everything she had told her, Carmilla was certain, that she hadn’t expected the struggle.

“I’m pretty sure that hasn’t changed, It’s just too fascinating for them. They didn’t even question me, when I texted them.”

“Because they trust you.” Laura blurted out.

Carmilla took a deep, unneeded breath before she said calmly “Then you should, too.” This wasn’t about her, she shouldn’t take any of that personally, but she couldn’t keep her voice from hardening.

“You’re right. And I do. I’m sorry.” She said quietly. “I’m just afraid. Afraid of myself.”

“I know,” She said, softer again. “But that’s not going to change if you just hide here. At some point you need to go out and be around humans and the best way to prepare you for that is being around the one human, that is too fascinated about anything they can’t explain yet to be scared. As stupid as that is, I might add. I promise you again, that I won’t let you harm them, but they’re the one person who’s not going to run just because of a small bitemark.”

“But Perry… “

“Perry won’t come today, we’ll deal with her when you’re calm an controlled, as you called it. It’s more likely to get her to listen if your fangs stay where they belong.” She smiled widely and showed all her fangless teeth to illustrate her point. “Look, I’ll call it off, if that’s really what you want, but I think it’ll be good for you.”

“You’ll watch me the whole time?” Laura asked, still doubtful.

“Every second,” Carmilla confirmed and nodded to ensure her.

There was a long silent pause in which she could practically see Laura think until she finally said. “Ok, let’s do this.”

Luckyly she had left some gaps in what she intended, this had been hard enough.


	10. Chapter 10

Later that evening there was a knock on the door.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow “Come in,” she called, and LaFontaine entered the room and greeted them. ”I had already forgotten what it sounds like, when somebody knocks.” She said sarcastically. “I didn’t think you knew how to do that.”

“Don’t get used to it,” LaFontaine said, repeating her answer in their lab. “I wasn’t sure if it was safe to walk in, so I figured it would be better this time. I didn’t want to walk in on a hungry baby vampire or something like that.”

It seemed like all of the color that was left in Laura’s face vanished in that moment and her face showed pure panic as she hugged her legs.

LaFontaine realized the change. “I was kidding, sorry,” they immediately apologized. Laura relaxed visibly, but her knuckles were white around her knees.

“So, how are the newlyweds doing? How’s your honeymoon?” they continued with a large grin.

Both of their faces froze. Carmilla scanned Laura and LaFontaine alternately. Laura’s eyes were wide open and she stuttered, when she finally talked.

“Wha… what do you mean? We’re not...”

“Geez, I’m still kidding. I sense a little tension in here.”

Carmilla laughed to play down the awkwardness. “Observing as always,” she remarked.

“Good thing I’m here to cheer you up.” LaFontaine said, still chuckling about their own comment.

Laura looked at her, clearly uncomfortable.

“What?” they asked when no one replied.

“You’re kind of the reason for the tension.” Carmilla explained as Laura still made no attempt to answer. “Laura is a little bit uneasy, because she thinks you’re in danger when you visit us.” She was proud of herself. The snark reduced to a minimum and no mocking insults. This was just not the time. Even though it was tempting.

“I’m so sorry about the other day, I could totally understand if you never wanted to come here again.” The smaller vampire had found her voice again.

“Laura, does it look like I want to stay away? I’m here, obviously. And here, look!” They pointed to their neck and tilted their head to show it. “It’s almost gone. No big deal.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to…”

“It’s fine, like I said.” LaFontaine stated and turned to Carmilla. “Anyway, what did you have in mind?”

Laura’s eyes flickered uncertain between them, so the redhead clarified “She said I could participate in some experiments.”

“Experiments?” Laura yelled.

That was not exactly how Carmilla had planned the whole thing. She looked everywhere but in her girlfriend’s eyes. “Not important, maybe later.” She tried to play it down casually, but that clearly didn’t work, she thought, when she finally caught Laura’s deadly glare. “Maybe that’s for another day.”

“Carmilla Karnstein.” Laura said loudly. “Tell me what you’re up to, right now.”

“Wow, full name, you’re in trouble.” LaFontaine threw in with a grin.

“You’re not helping,” Carmilla said through gritted teeth.

“Didn’t want to. I was just observing.”

“So?” Laura looked at her expectantly.

“Well I was thinking we could do a little desensitization with LaF as irritant. If they agree, of course.” They nodded and Carmilla hesitated before she continued. But if she delayed the details, Laura would get even madder at her later for not telling now. “There are some things I should ask before you can fully consent.”

Laura looked at her as if she had lost her mind. “Like what?” she asked, simultaneously with LaFontaine, but the redhead’s face only showed curiosity.

She prepared herself. “Like: Would it be ok if Laura’s fangs were near your veins? Or: would you mind cutting your finger or something like that?”

“Sure, if that helps,” LaFontaine shrugged in the same time as Laura said “No way I’m allowing that!”

“Laura…”

“You said you wouldn’t put them in danger and now you want them to tease me and bring out all the bad stuff I want to get rid of.” The small vampire was furious.

“You can’t get rid of it, that’s the whole point.” Carmilla had enough of the constant arguing. “You need to control the thirst, and that’s what this is gonna gain you. And by the way, I bet you haven’t even thought once since they walked in here of LaF as the little human juicebox they are, because you were too distracted by yelling at me. Maybe you’re a little less dangerous than you think you are.” She couldn’t fully suppress the smirk that crept on her face and looked at Laura challenging.

Laura opened her mouth to shoot something back, but it seemed like she couldn’t find a good reply, so she just glared at her.

“You know, she has a point here.” LaFontaine threw in and that made Laura find her voice again.

“This is so not fair!” she exclaimed and looked at the both of them.

“So that’s a yes?” Carmilla asked hopefully.

“It’s a let’s see how it goes,” Laura gave in after a moment of silence and Carmilla let out a relieved sigh. Again she had thought, she’d have more trouble with convincing her. Maybe she underestimated her and her determination to partly normalize her life again as soon as possible.

“So, how do we start?” Laura asked and that was the final confirmation for Carmilla that this would be okay.

“LaF, stay where you are,” she directed. “Laura, I want you to focus on your senses. Close your eyes. Listen to the heartbeat. Smell the human odor. Take it all in without distraction. All the little things. That’s what will surround you if you leave this room. And describe how you feel, it’s easier if you can express it.”

“You really thought that through, haven’t you?” LaFontaine sounded impressed.

“It’s not like I have been surprised by that whole thing.” Carmilla shrugged. “Involving you was spontaneous, but I know things from experience and I knew this would be some work. Hell, it took me far too long.”

“I’m sorry.” Laura said quietly. “I underestimated almost everything you told me.”

“It’s ok, I knew you would,” she replied and smiled. “But you’ll get there, I would never have turned you, if I didn’t believed that. And for now: start whenever you’re ready.”

Carmilla watched the younger vampire taking a deep breath. Her hands fidgeted a little before she closed her eyes. For a few minutes none of them made any noise. They all waited for anything to happen, Laura clearly nervous, the other two rather curious. Then Laura cringed and her jaw clenched exerted.

“Tell me.” Carmilla reminded her.

A few moments passed in which Laura struggled for words before she said “It’s like the blood calls me. It’s so strange, every heartbeat says ‘come closer’.”

“You can if you want, I’ll guide you. But slowly. Remember that LaF is your friend. Is it hard to keep your fangs in?”

“They’re not…” Laura’s voice faded, as she traced along her teeth. “You’re right.” She said puzzled. “I thought they were out. Then… I guess it’s not hard.”

“Good.” Carmilla said and got up. “Go as close as you want. Don’t worry, I’ll stay between you two.”

Laura blinked and got on her feet. Carmilla extended her hands and Laura took them wordless, but with a grateful smile. Slowly she moved towards LaFontaine, pushing Carmilla backwards and shut her eyes again.

“It’s much louder. Vampire hearing is pretty exceptional. But other than that, there’s no difference.”

Carmilla took a few small steps back and guided Laura with her. LaFontaine couldn’t be far behind her. Suddenly Laura inhaled sharply and began to shake. One of her hands flew up to her mouth, the other one was clinging to Carmilla’s for dear life.

She couldn’t see the redhead, but she heard their breath stop for a moment and their heartbeat quickened. They were caught off guard, but it was not quite fear. She would never admit it, but she was impressed.

Laura was now panting and Carmilla tightened her grip on her ensuringly, when her eyes shot open.

“What has changed?” Carmilla asked.

“I… “ Laura took a moment to think about it. “ The body heat. I can feel the body heat radiating from them. And I hear their blood rushing.” She stared at LaFontaine curiously. “Your heart beats so loud,” she said and hesitated. “Are you sure this is ok? You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to.”

They started to grin immediately. “Are you kidding me? This is one of the most fascinating things I’ve ever done. It’s so cool how your primal instincts kick in at the smallest trigger. There’s no way I’m getting out of here.”

“Maybe you should take a break? Then we’ll try this again.” Carmilla suggested and Laura nodded and immediately walked back to the bed to bring some distance between herself and the human.

After some minutes they started again, with the same result. It took three more trys before Laura managed to keep her eyes closed and her fangs retracted within reach of LaFontaine.

“I did it,” she exclaimed happily after she stood there at least three minutes without anything happening.

“You did, cupcake,” Carmilla confirmed. She was content. “How do you feel? Do you want to continue, or should we reschedule the next steps to tomorrow?”

Laura looked tired but torn. “I don’t know…”

“Look, if you’ve got anything now, it’s time. Don’t press too hard, if you don’t feel like continuing just say it.”

“You’re right. Reschedule it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, it's been a while... but the next chapter will be posted soon
> 
> also: i have no idea what vampires do for fun, when they can finally leave the room, maybe you guys can help me out here...   
> elessar999.tumblr.com
> 
> thanks for reading


	11. Chapter 11

LaFontaine came back the next evening and they started with the same exercise as the day before and Laura stayed in control the first try, so Carmilla suggested the next step.

“How about you get closer to their neck, without me in between. When you feel the pulse it will be once more something new.”

“That sounds a lot like you’re asking for something to happen!”

“I’ll be right next to you and I’ll pull you away at the first sign of danger for them, I promise.” Carmilla turned to LaFontaine.”You’re okay with that?”

“Go for it.” They answered, but for the first time they looked a bit uneasy. Carmilla raised an eyebrow at them, but they nodded.”It’s okay.”

Laura steeled her nerves and moved closer to the redhead, Carmilla on her heels. Inch by inch she moved towards LaFontaine’s neck. She could almost put her neck on their shoulder when she pulled back. Her fangs were out and panic showed in her eyes. She quickly brought some space between herself and the human.

“I can’t,” she said and shook her head.

“You almost did,” Carmilla stated, but she didn’t press.

“But I can’t stay there. It’s too much. I’ll hurt them.”

She hadn’t noticed any signs of a possible thread and she doubted there were any but she decided to let the matter rest. It clearly made Laura anxious, so maybe they should try something else. “Okay then. Change of plans. You get over there. We put some distance between you two and LaF cuts their finger. There is no way you can harm them in any way, because I got you and you can focus on yourself without worrying.”

“Thanks,” Laura answered and hurried to the other side of the room.

“You’d say if you had a problem with any of that, wouldn’t you?” Carmilla asked as she brought LaFontaine a small kitchen knife.

“Sure.” They answered. “It’s so weird when you’re nice and considerate.”

“Don’t feel too flattered, it’s for Laura.” She glanced at her girlfriend and she beamed at her, but she had also that knowing expression on her face, that told her that she didn’t bought that for one second.

“Whatever helps you sleep during the day.” LaFontaine said and grinned.

Carmilla didn’t deemed that worth an answer and walked over to stand in front of Laura.”You’re ready?” she asked and the girl nodded. “Ok, brainiac, go ahead.”

She waited for the noise of cutting skin, but it didn’t come. When she didn’t felt like waiting any more she turned around and smirked. LaFontaine stood in the middle of the room, knife on their finger and stared at it.

“Do you need any help over there?” Her smirk grew wider.

“I never thought you wanted my blood so badly.” They retorted and looked up.

“Oh please, as if I’d drink your blood. It’s probably toxic due to all that stuff you fail in your lab.” Carmilla scoffed.

“I don’t fail. The results are sometimes unexpected, that’s all. And I got it. It just takes some overcoming to purposely hurt oneself if you didn’t know.” They looked a lot more relaxed than before.

She faced Laura again and waited. This time the sound of the knife cutting through skin appeared shortly after, followed directly by LaFontaine hissing. Even though it could only be a small cut the air filled with the strong odor of blood. Carmilla placed her hands on Laura’s shoulders to steady the girl who started trembling immediately. Then her body stilled and her fangs popped out with a snarl and her pupils were huge. She stared over Carmilla’s shoulder without blinking and then suddenly she tried to push past her.

Carmilla held her in place, for which she needed almost all of her strength and started to talk soothingly. “Everything’s fine. Come back. You don’t want this. LaF’s your friend. You can control it. Look at me.“

In slow motion Laura moved her eyes from LaFontaine to Carmilla and locked them with hers. Her hands flew to Carmilla’s arms and she was pretty sure she’d leave marks there, because her grip was tight, but Carmilla didn’t care. The important things were the human features that now returned to the vampire’s face. Her pupils shrank and she began to pant heavily.

“Can you cover that up somehow?” Carmilla asked without taking her eyes off Laura. “There is a box with band aids on the dresser. That should at least tone it down.”

There was some rustling behind her and then the medical smell of the band aid mixed with the blood, but the coppery odor remained strongly in the air.

“Cupcake, you’re with me?” she asked, and Laura nodded but didn’t weaken her grip. When she began to shiver, Carmilla pulled her closer and the smaller vampire let herself crash against her chest. She buried her face in Carmilla’s neck and let her hold her upright. She began to sob.

“It was everywhere. And my mind, my mind was blank. Nothing but blood. I didn’t even notice what I was doing until you called me. If you hadn’t… I felt so powerless.”

“Hey, you were awesome.” Carmilla assured her. “You regained consciousness just by me talking to you. You should be proud of yourself. The smell is still everywhere and you’re okay. I know it’s hard, but you’re doing good.”

“You’re not just trying to make me feel better?”

“I mean it. Come on, we’ll try that again. You can stay where you are, maybe that makes it easier.” She waited for a protest until she looked over her shoulder. “LaF, can you reopen that cut, just tug a little, that’ll be enough.”

There was a ripping sound when the band aid was removed and soon after the smell of blood got stronger again. She felt Laura tense up in her arms and the girl pulled her closer.

“You’re there? Talk to me, cutie.”

Instead of an answer she felt fingernails dig in her shoulders and fangs scraping against her neck together with hot breath. She rubbed soothing circles on Laura’s back without loosening her hold.

After what seemed like ages she spoke with a muffled, shaking voice. “I’m okay… I think.”

“See, a few more tries and you’ll get there.” Carmilla said and added. “You can cover that up again, LaF. And can you open the window?”

They did as told and after some minutes the air felt cleaner. It was then, that Laura first moved from her position. She lifted her head from Carmilla’s shoulder and drew back a little so they could look at each other.

“We’ll that was intense.”


End file.
